Well, apart from drooling over pastel kitchens, I have, like I said yesterday, been trying to sort my life out! In the greatest sense of the word! Things over the last 12 months haven't gone really very well for me and I've had a few personal life disasters, which is partly my fault and partly the fault of others. I pretty much considered dropping out of Uni last year, but here I am going back in 2 weeks to do a masters (am I craycray??) I just can't wait tbh to get back into education and the full swing of things and researching etc. It's really fulfilling and I know this isn't the kind of thing cool hip bloggers blog about but I make no apologies guyz.
Also, my finances for the last year have been a bit up and down, as in I've been rich when i've had my loan and poor when i'm waiting for the next installment!! I managed to save loads of money from my loans over the last two terms of uni, but this summer (with my mum getting married and birthdays, nights out etc) has written all that off and i'm back down to less than £200. Because you don't get financial support for your masters (although I am extremely lucky to have been awarded a scholarship), you are out there on your own in terms of living costs. Although I was growing up more over the last year anyway, I've kind of hit the ground with a thud in terms of realising income isn't disposable any more!
I've decided though that this is a really good thing in terms of getting back to basics and a less material life. Don't get me wrong I am like the poster girl for consumerism/capitalism and i'm not gonna shed all my worldly possessions and go and live in a Convent, but i've just finally realised whats important. So in order to make more money, i'm selling a lot of my stuff on eBay, especially my mountainous collection of never-been-worn Ugg boots and some other stuff such as my Alexander McQueen skull ring. It's stuff I never should have bought and just did cos I was bored and didn't like my life and tried to make myself feel better by buying lots of nice things etc.
I am really looking forward to selling my stuff, even though I know I won't make a profit on any of it, I think it's gonna feel really cathartic. Once it's gone, it's gone, and I will make a little money to put in my savings (depleted from said shopping addiction of my twenteens) and I can just get on with life and forget about all those stupid things I never used anyway.
Saying all this, I am one of those people who goes to extremes without realising it. Like, I am responsible now in that I'll think, 'hmmm, I could buy those £200 boots, but that's basically a sofa/pair of curtains so if I save it it's gonna be an investment in my future'. This is fine, but I've become so obsessed with the whole settling down, growing up, having my own home thing. I am basically like Charlotte from Sex and the City. Like, I AM her. It got to the point where the other day I was considering buying a coat off eBay for £80 down from £250 (great bargain obvs), which I need for this winter, but I literally thought in my head 'I won't ever have enough money for my kids to go on school trips if I buy stuff like this!!!!!'
PSYCHO HOUSEWIFE MOMENT
So yeah, I am having a bit of an existential crisis when it comes to life/money/my future. I think it's the whole finishing Uni thing, like where other mates are trying to cling on to their student years and have as much fun as they can before they enter the real world, i'm trying to fast forward to my late twenties with a 3 bed terrace and kitchen bunting (I am Charlotte). I think I just need to get a grip really and enjoy my early twenties, finish the MA then start worrying about saving for the kid's packed lunches....
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