Seeing as I have some spare time thought I would blog now rather than forget to do it tomorrow! I say I have been busy but not much interesting is going on at the mo, just been running around like a crazy person back at uni etc. It has been SO STRESSFUL. ALREADY. Like, I knew it would be a responsibility more than what undergrad is like but its so intense after 2 weeks. We have no exams but like four 6000 word essays, four 3000 word essays and a 20,000 word dissertation. It's not the word count that scares me though it's more the quality of work we're expected to produce. And for some reason all my tutors think I am a genius or something, and that i'm gonna pull another amazing dissertation out of the bag. I still think the only reason for my success was my amazing dissertation tutor. And they all think I should be some mad history professor and never leave uni (well they would cos they are!), like I told them I wanted to teach ks3,4 and 5 history and they were all like "oh, I think you'd be wasted in high school why don't you teach university students!?" I know it's all very complimentary and I should be flattered, which I am, but I am worried there is so much misplaced expectation on me I am going to DROWN UNDER THE PRESSURE!!!!
So yeah I had a bit of a mental breakdown in uni the other day and all three girls in the skills class started crying, including me, which was embarrassing and also ridiculous after two weeks on the course. I think it's all resolved now and stuff will work itself out, but I just hope i'm more mentally strong than I have been in the past. All I want to do, as you know, is be a housewife and have a dog and children and a husband and make nice buns and roast chicken on Sundays. Whatever it takes to get to that I will do but the sooner I can do it the better. Why am I so provincial??? Belle from Beauty and the Beast would not be happy.
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In terms of product love, well, I am trying not to buy which makes me a crap fashion or style blogger. Can't review or rave about stuff, unless it's off eBay. I did manage to get my hands on some lush boots that can be seen in the post below this one! After raving about the AllSaints Boyar thigh boots, I decided £275, even after my 50% discount, was a bit expensive, so luckily I found a pair on eBay, the Hussar thigh boots, from AW11. They look pretty new and my mum got them me for my geburtstag! I wore them on the trip to the theatre, with a nice long blouse, leather jacket and a snood.
Apart from the boots I haven't really bought anything new, i'm actually wearing a lot of stuff I bought last year in an attempt to be frugal. So far, so good! I am lusting after a lot of stuff though, which i'm trying to resist! I think working in AllSaints has made me forget there is other nice stuff out there, and I went into Toppers today and fell in love with about 10 things. Current product lusts are boucle jackets, preferably ice creamy pastelly colours, baroque skirts and dresses (big time love these), premium looking ankle stap stiletto heels, sorbet coloured converse, this feather jacket from Topshop, and a maxi dress, also from Topshop, that I saw today and can't find on the internet. I also found a 'reptile' pleather jacket for £50. It looked good on and a lot better than on the website, and it did look expensive, and I do need a leather jacket as mine is ripped...but do I lower my standards to pleather? I'm sorry if I sound snobby but plastic leather has never been my thing and my current poverty/saving needs are the only things driving me to it. I'm also a fan of camo print but it's a massive craze and I used to buy into stuff like that and be all like, I HAVE TO HAVE IT, but now I know people will get bored quick and camo jackets will be confined to the backs of wardrobes so i've decided not to go there.
I did, however, buy myself a few little treats to cheer myself up about going back to uni. This cute candle was one of them. I like it because it has my initial on and it is only £4. It's from Urban Outfitters and comes in every letter of the alphabet. Swish! I also got myself this eye mask, which I just think is funny and will hopefully give Jack the message when he comes in/goes out at silly o'clock clattering around. haha.
My most exciting fashionable acquisition, which I feel I should tell you about, are my ANNA DELLO RUSSO SUNGLASSES that my lovely friend Roxanne managed to pick up for me today from the H&M in the Dubai Mall!! They had all sold out online and were already going for the heady price of £50 on eBay, so she came to the rescue to my damsel in fashion distress! I don't normally buy into 'designers for' collections but I love AdR so made an exception, after all you can never go wrong with a flamboyant pair of sunglasses. They're not exactly in line with my housewife persona but everyone needs a pick me up sometimes don't they?
Here is the fabulous woman herself modelling them, and here are mine, waiting in their little box to be united with me in a few weeks. Thanks Roxanne!!
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FINALLY... I offer some pearls of wisdom. I've kind of stolen this from a Tumblr blog I follow, called Lust For Life. She is an amazing blogger and her style is mindblowing, and I would never have realised she was 19 years old. One of her recent posts is about pushing yourself and trying to run when you should still be learning how to walk. I think I have been doing this to myself a lot recently. I have made mistakes in my past, mostly financial, and it's so important to me now to rectify them and get my life on track for where I want to be. I just want to know I have money in my savings for when the time comes to move out and start looking after myself. I'm desperate to juggle university and work, to push myself and get the best results and make enough money to save it and get back to where I should have been before I wasted all my money throughout university. All I can think about it my future, and how I can achieve my goals, and how old I will be when I get my own 3 bedroom Edwardian terrace and where i'm going to be able to shop for food. I've said this before, but reading Lust For Life the other day put it in perspective that although I've made mistakes, I've rectified them all and grown up so much since I was in my late teens. I know what I need to do, but I still shouldn't be worrying about all this adult stuff. Some girls my age get into much messier life situations than I have, and some are in crippling debt from travelling and uni. I am lucky compared to them and that's what I should focus on!! I'm only 22, and I know that whatever I put my mind to I can do. If it means living at home or at Jack's parents' house for one extra year while I save that's what i'll have to do. There's no point trying to be in the mentality of a 35 year old when i'm not even out of uni yet!
Anyway, this song, which I have, like Lust For Life, listened to since I was 13, suddenly clicked with me the other day. I need to take a step back and appreciate my youth and freedom before it's too late. If you have ever felt like I have just described, listen to this and you will feel amazingly calmer about where you are going in life.
Billy Joel, I salute you and your lyrical genius.
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